Apologies in advance for the rant/self pitying in this post. I’m sure if you’re reading this you either know what I mean or will know someone who does.
I’ve recently discovered I have tinnitus. How do you ‘discover’ you have tinnitus? Well, I have noticed the slight ringing in my ears when it’s completely silent for a while, but I just assumed that’s what silence sounds like. As stupid as that sounds. Living in London, I don’t hear complete silence very often however I’m lucky to have a bedroom at the back of my house where it’s very quiet so at bedtime the ringing decides to wake up!
The reason this has been a recent realisation is because it’s got worse. I’m putting this down to stress as work is extremely manic at the moment, but I don’t know how to get rid of it…if I even can. And it’s getting so bad that my ears are hurting from that annoying, high-pitched sound. It’s driving me crazy!
Whilst I have more energy than I did a few months ago, and I’m managing my depression and anxiety. Even at this moment in time I am struggling to lose weight, have joint pain, pigmentation on my skin…not to mention the tinnitus. It feels like a never ending rollercoaster, as soon as I get up and feel like I’m making progress another symptom arises.
I also have something called papillae on my eyes which are small spots under my eyelids caused by an allergic reaction and meaning i have very irritated eyes at the moment – is this another symptom connected to Hashimoto’s? How many things do I blame on this?
Understandably, I want to talk to someone about this. However when I mentioned it to my (unnamed) friend I could feel her eyes rolling. Yes, another thing that’s wrong with me! But then that’s what it’s like to have Hashimoto’s – list after list of ailments (see above!).
The trick is to find someone who is understanding and sympathetic to your accumulation of ailments – for me that’s my mom, she has to listen to me moan because she’s my mom! But I have also found it’s nice to talk on support groups such as on Thyroid Facebook groups and at the Thyroid Trust meetings. It really helps to not feel alone and even pick up tips on how to deal with things.
Even after this rant and all the symptoms, I still won’t let Hashimoto’s define me. I know people have it a lot worse so that’s easier said than done, but for me if I can control certain symptoms with my diet and exercise as well as medication I am determined to get on with my life as normally as possible. We are all so much more than this!